the beautiful impossible || when fate takes over 🌙

2nd Jul 20235th Jul 2023 maya rajesh22 Comments

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve found the time to sit down and write, and this wasn’t planned at all; entirely spontaneous.

The last time I wrote, it was the end of summer, and since then… life has descended into absolute chaos: me running from class to class, my room constantly littered with books and paper and references and not having any time to stop and think whatsoever. (Unless it’s about which year the Club of Rome was founded because that I’m obligated to know.)

If you asked me, at any point in these past seven weeks, what the predominant thought in my mind was, it would be: when will I have it all together?

When Murphy’s Law gets all too real: everything that can go wrong is going wrong… but then there are moments like these. It’s 11 in the night, and everything’s silent and you can hear the crickets outside, the clock ticking, and the faint hum of your favourite indie song still playing from your headphones across the room. You have school in the morning, but nothing really matters except the moonlight reflecting off of the pool, the music… the quiet.

That’s what makes life worth living.

summer diaries #2: travel diary — italy

16th May 202316th May 2023 maya rajesh24 Comments

This summer, we travelled to Italy. It was around 19 days of pure bliss: pizzas and gelatos, museums and sculptures and rich, rich culture. It’s unreal how many different people and places this world is home to; we seem to only know ours. Anyway, I write this the day after we landed back home (knowing life’s tendency to cascade into chaos) in the hopes that it’s coherent and does the trip justice.

Europe—with its lush green pastures, quaint towns and magnificent panoramic views—has always been one of those places you could spend ages in. Just taking it all in. Italy is the epitome of Europe’s fascinating beauty.

Italy just so happens to be one of those places where the place looks exactly like the pictures. No filter. It’s like someone copy-pasted their Pinterest board onto it. It is simply unbelievable—almost as though words aren’t quite enough to describe the place (but then again, they never quite suffice.) And that’s coming from someone who practically worships good literature.

We visited five gorgeous places + Vatican City and that’s how this post is divided. So before I digress: here’s Italy, through my eyes.

summer diaries #1: and yet, we march on || new beginnings & change 🌱

17th Apr 202317th Apr 2023 maya rajesh18 Comments

2023.

In all honesty, I’m still taking it in.

I kid you not, two weeks ago, at around 11 in the morning, I was updating my Goodreads and needed to change the ‘read’ date and on the dropdown menu, it read “April 1” and I went berserk. There is no way it’s already April. We’re already more than three months in.

Time never ceases to amaze me (as I’m sure anyone who knows me knows.) My friends and I have been in awe – freshman year of high school is already over. It seems like yesterday we were all nervous in that giddy-excited way, making our way through the gates, and seeing each other after summer break…

And we’re here. It’s summer again. Except I’m going to be a year older soon. And I feel myself trying to hold on to the memories, relish the moment but it’s like grasping for water: you have it for a moment, you feel the coolness on your skin, and just like that; it’s gone.

I write this a couple weeks after a terrorizing set of finals (you wouldn’t believe the relief) and my life just has all this empty space in it – it’s the perfect time for me to pick up a new project, or write some songs, or finish editing my draft… but I find myself unwilling to do something “productive.”

Because, after all, we all need a break sometimes don’t we? (aka, me trying to justify the fact that I haven’t posted since last year. Yes, I’m aware.)

2022, i bid you adieu || a yearly recap & welcome to the new year 🏵️

29th Dec 202228th Dec 2022 maya rajesh18 Comments

It’s the end of the year again, and that always scares me a little.

I’ve always been tied to routine, and anyone who knows me well is well aware that change – even just the thought of it – isn’t something I adore. As a creature of habit, I’ve always found it hard to wrap my mind around new beginnings.

The close of a year always reminds me that life has new things in store for us; I struggle to put it into words – the sort of impending loss that overwhelms me. It’s almost like a premature longing for times that haven’t passed yet. Nostalgia – one word, three syllables, and yet, it fuels so much emotion in me.

We’ll never be here again: this moment, this place.

But then again, we did make it through these past twelve months. A new beginning is fast approaching, for worse… or for better. Whatever happens, we are here right now, and I think it’s up to us to make the most of it. So, it’s time to see the forest for the trees, and appreciate the hurdles and wins life’s thrown at us this year. Change always reminds me of this quote, one of my all-time favourites:

“[He] wondered if normalcy was something, like vision or silence, you didn’t realize was precious until you lost it.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Fallen Angels.

On that note, I’d like to finally start the wrap-up. I’ve split up the year into four, with some of my favourite snapshots from the months, and a little note on the special moments. 2022 was a beautiful year, honestly. It gave me so much more clarity on what I want to do with my life, career-wise, I learnt to play the guitar, I danced a lot and school went great. Like everything else, it had its ups and downs, but I loved it.

the world is quiet here 🦋 picnicking, gilmore girls & life lately

2nd Dec 20221st Jan 2023 maya rajesh12 Comments

The days are getting shorter, the morning air has a little chill, and the jackets are coming out of the closets… if I didn’t know better, I’d say it was winter again. The skies go maroon at seven, we drink hot chocolate on the weekends, and the mid-terms approach. (Of course, there had to be a catch, didn’t there?)

Anyway, today’s post is a log of the last couple of weeks – we went picnicking, my sister and I have been binge-watching Gilmore Girls, and we did an assembly at school… it’s been a great deal of fun. Life’s had its ups and downs (and things have been leaning towards the latter lately) but I have been trying, and I’m just hoping that’s enough.

Life’s been a bit on the quiet side lately, with extended hours of school, holidays, and studying with Midnights streaming (constantly,) long, handwritten notes to friends, and it feels a little bit like hope again. Winter is slowly setting in, but through the mist, through the rain, I can still see flickers of light – of hope.